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The Weekend Warrior at the Phone Booth

The Weekend Warrior made one of the shortest road trips of his life, heading from his palacious castle in Arlington to the Verizon Center (the “Phone Booth”) to see the Virginia Tech/Navy and gwu/maryland basketball games.  He was accompanied by DuffHokie and Nickles, who have been part of various articles along the way on here.  Here are some of the highlights:

  • It was nice being able to go to a game without use of a car – just walked to the Metro, took a train on the Orange (Bowl) Line, and pow, at the arena.  On the way, we loaded up our socks with airplane bottles.  The trick is to wear big, wintery socks (or soccer socks).  Just stick an airplane bottle on each side of each sock down around the lower calf region, but above the ankles.  Assuming you aren’t wear spandex (and I pray that you are not), your pants hide the bottles from over-molesting security guards.  Plus, it is still comfortable to walk.  Never say TechHoops.com didn’t teach you anything (like how to use a double negative).  Helps you save on those outrageous beer prices at the game. 
  • While waiting for a second train at Metro Center, some dude on the other side of the tracks was basically putting on a dance show for his friends on my side of the tracks.  Except he couldn’t dance.  It was like watching a bad 80s dance video, and even worse, it lasted about as long as one.  I was completely creeped out.  Clue to this guy: you are not invisible, we can all see what an idiot you are.
  • On my way in I ran into TechHoops.com regular ‘vatechhokies50′.  It was nice to finally meet you!
  • Early in the game, they put the three of us on the Jumbotron for at least 20 seconds.  It actually got pretty awkward after a while.  We screamed and yelled at first, but then eventually relaxed and sat back down.  But they kept us on… and on… and on.  Finally, I figured I better come up with something to keep the crowd entertained, so I figured out how to make a ‘VT’ with my fingers after some trial and error.  I felt like we were on a reality show we were up on the screen so long.
  • [Added per DuffHokie's request] Watching the timeout shooting contestants was like watching Paris Hilton do long division – it wasn’t pretty.  It looked like these guys had never touched a basketball before, similar to how it looked like the Dr. Pepper passing contestants at the ACC Championship game had never thrown a football before.  Seriously, can they not have a screening process for these things?  I almost think the guy dancing at the Metro station would have done better.
  • At some point late in the game they announced the “McDonald’s Winning Row”.  Guess what – it was our row!  That’s right, female dogs, we won!  Now you may be asking yourself: What does a McDonald’s winning row get?  I’ll tell you what: a coupon for a free filet-o-fish and a Southern style chicken sandwich.  That’s it.  Two lousy items they cannot sell because no one wants them.  They wouldn’t even give us extra coupons.  Are you [blanking] kidding me???  They pay all this money to the Verizon Center to have this prize, and then this is all they give out.  Let’s just say the boos started raining down on the poor event staff girl that handed them out.

After our game, I got to really focus on what I came to do: make fun of maryland fans.  I know, I know, Hokies Respect and ACC Sportsmanship and all that crap.  But come on, md fans are known as easily the worst and most obnoxious in the ACC.  Yet all we did is give them the business.  Why?  We own them and they know it. 

Since joining the ACC, VT is 3-0 against the twerps in football and 4-2 in basketball (including 3 in a row).  We have won 3 ACC football titles and gotten a first round bye in the ACC Tournament 3 of 4 years (they have 0 football titles in that span and just 1 ACC Tournament bye).

During the maryland game, a chorus of “Boooooooi-se, Boooooooi-se” was common on twerp free throws from our section (maryland is headed to the Smurf Turf for their bowl game in Boise, Idaho).  On others we would chant, “NIT, NIT!”  We made fun of anything and everything about them.  And what did they do?  Not one thing.  They had to just sit there and take it because we are their daddies and they know it.  I did get enough evil eyes to fill a sack, though.  But I have to admit, it was fun bullying the bullies.

One final note to the Verizon Center people: having alcohol sales until the final 15 minutes of the second half of the second game is probably a bad idea.  I think this is what led to getting lost inside a restaurant after the game.  Their alcohol policy meant you basically had 4 hours of drinking time.  That is not a good thing, especially when you are wearing 2 stockings overflowing with gifts of Wild Turkey!

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  • DuffHokie

    WooHoo

    Surprised no mention of how bad the guys were that were involved in the halftime shooting contest.

  • vatechhokies50

    Good to meet you, too, Niemo.

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