How about a quick survey… If you had to pick one of the following to be VT’s basketball coach, who would you pick:

1. Sidney “a.k.a. Biz Markie”, “a.k.a. The Kool Aid Man” Lowe
2. Paul “Rocky Road” Hewitt
3. Al “Groh-ing Pains”
4. ricky “Program Bomb” stokes
5. I’d rather saw off my own arm (no offense to Sykes from The Fugitive whom I know is a loyal reader)

Today is a sad day for me, TechHoops.com fans.  Sidney Lowe ‘stepped down’ as Head Coach of the nc state wolfpack.  He’s been the butt of more jokes on here then, well, anyone.  These last five years I’ve probably referenced him more than any other non-Hokie.

And this comes on the tail of Paul Hewitt getting fired at georgia tech.  Heck, Lowe’s and Hewitt’s ACC road records were practically regular features on this site.  Please don’t tell me I’m going to have to come up with new material!!!

Well, I might as well kick both of them while they are down one last time [tear]…

Worst Coach:

Sidney Lowe, hands down.  All you need to know is this – Paul Hewitt took georgia tech to the 2004 National Championship Game.  Lowe was lucky if he could guide his team to Burger King.

Worst Dresser:

Red sport coat?  Only if you work for State Farm.  Sidney Lowe.

Worst Road Coach:

Wow, this is like comparing the Washington Generals to clemson at unc.  Check out these numbers…

• Lowe – 2006-11 (all 5 seasons of the Lowe era): nc state was 7-33 in ACC road games
• Hewitt – 2005-11 (his last 6 seasons): gt was 7-41 in ACC road games… he snapped a streak of 13 straight ACC road losses in his road finale (at 1-14 wake, of course)

So I’d say there are no winners here.  Less than 1.5 road wins per season doesn’t demand a parade for anybody.

Overall ACC Record:

• gt (2005-11): 33-63 (34%)
• nc state (2006-11): 25-55 (31%)

Again, Sidney Lowe set a new standard for horrible-ness.  As Bill Roth put it — they look like all-stars in pre-game warm-ups (mostly because a lot of them are), then not so good once the game starts.

Easiest to Compare to ricky stokes:

Answer: nobody.  stokes could sink a ship faster than Rodney Dangerfield’s anchor.  But Lowe was pretty bad — after five straight years making the big dance under Herb Sendek, state fans all but ran him out of town… five years later they haven’t been back to the ncaa’s.  state hasn’t been this bad since the days of the Les Robinson Invitational (name for the 8/9 game in the ACC Tournament back in the early 90s since state was always in it).

Speaking of which… any chance georgia tech or nc state hires Terry Holland as their AD?  Then maybe we could get some revenge on mr. stokes.

Anyway, back to my “what coach would you take,” I think I’ll head to the hardware store if these two guys were my only options.

I’ll see ya, Sidney and Paul, it has truly been a writer’s blessing to have known you.