TechHoops.com issues press release regarding its future

Blacksburg, VA — Despite three straight cellar-dweller seasons in Blacksburg, dwindling attendance, several marriages, the births of multiple children, the firing of two coaches, and the transfer and de-commitment of countless high profile recruits, we here at TechHoops.com have continued to provide die-hard, although somewhat masochistic, Virginia Tech basketball fans with indepth coverage of the worst team in the ACC. Even our colleagues at TSL noted our dedication:

TSL Tweet from Feb. 6, 2014

@TechHoops is meticulously detailing a very painful season. They have way more of an appetite for it than we here at TSL do.

What most TechHoops fans didn’t know was that coming into the 2013-14 season, there was talk of shutting down TechHoops.com for good. After starting with six writers, all alums, we were down to just two; Niemo and Cope. These guys have families and jobs and other obligations. But they didn’t let spouses, children, and responsibilities get in the way of providing VT basketball fans every horrible detail of every demoralizing loss (and there were 58 of them) for the last three seasons. But they came close.

Now, with the program in a low not seen in near 14 years, there is a new hope dawning in the Cassell. JJ is out, and Buzz Williams is in. Why he left a high profile job at Marquette for the worst team in the ACC is still somewhat of a mystery, but he’s here now. Thus, to avoid any rumors and speculation, we want to announce that senior writer Niemo, formerly the Weekend Warrior, will return for an eighth straight season.

“I’m more committed than ever to righting this ship,” Niemo said via conference call following the ACC tournament. “I take full responsibility for the last three seasons, as well as the seven straight years of declining attendance. I have come to realize that the lack of BRRRRAAAHHHHHH-laden highlight videos is the sole reason for the decline in Virginia Tech’s basketball program.”

Niemo got married in 2013 and has since had his first child, but he doesn’t use those two events as excuses for his decline in productivity. He would only say that the correlation between his lack of effort at TechHoops and the lack of effort and results on the court cannot be easily dismissed.

“Look, I get it. I let this team down. I let the fans down. But I’ve rededicated myself to rebuilding this team, one arm curl and BRRRRAAAHHHHHH highlight at a time,” said Niemo between nap times. “I can’t promise victories, because we all know I’m pretty bad at that… God, remember that time I had to make a donation to some ‘Save the Eagles’ campaign? …anyhow, I can’t promise victories, but I can promise effort.”

It will be an uphill battle for Niemo, TechHoops.com, and of course, Buzz Williams and what’s left of the team. After announcing his hiring, recruit T.J. Lang asked for and received a release from his NLOI. Warren Craft, a 2015 verbal commit, decommitted because he never heard back from Coach Buzz. And then there’s Trevor Thompson, who was one of the few bright spots in a historically bad season. He transferred to Ohio State.

On the plus side, Buzz and the Hokies did pick up two big recruits in Ahmed Hill, a 6-4 shooting guard, and Satchel Pierce, a 6-10, 250-pound center. Both verbally committed to the Hokies.

Despite the odds, Niemo will be back next season. To celebrate, TechHoops.com has hired a graphic designer to redo its logo. T-shirts will be forthcoming. Stay tuned.

In other news…
Cope will be back next season, too, keeping things running smoothly behind the scenes and writing the occasional recap and commentary. “Like anyone cares about the guy behind the scenes,” Cope said. “Whatever. Screw you guys, I’m going to get a drink.”

This post was written by:

- who has written 235 posts on Tech Hoops.

Cope is a Virginia Tech graduate and veteran sports journalist with a career spanning television, radio, and newspapers. He's the recipient of three Virginia Press Association awards for his writing and design, as well as a CASE Gold Award for his feature writing. Cope has covered the Hokies since 1993 for various local and national news organizations. He's been with TechHoops.com since 2007.

Contact the author | Visit the author's website | Follow Cope on Twitter

7 Responses to “TechHoops.com issues press release regarding its future”

  1. Pat Leonard says:

    Make mine a Bear Fight, Cope. Glad you guys are going to keep the train rolling for another season! I couldn’t agree more… I was so demoralized about where the team was heading that I was considering going on sabbatical from VT basketball (or at least kidding myself about it). Whit Babcock walks through the door, lands Buzz Williams, and I’m rejuvenated again. Go Hokies!

  2. King says:

    The headline made me nervous. There’s no way TechHoops can jump ship now. To borrow a line from Macho Harris, the last three years were just a small setback before a big comeback. Glad TechHoops will be there to cover the Buzz Williams Era in Blacksburg.

    T-shirts would be great. Can we get some trucker hats, too?

    Thanks for all you do, Niemo & Cope!

  3. Will Stewart says:

    So … you issued a press release to say that nothing’s changing, except you’re going to try harder, redesign your logo, and make a few T-shirts? Is that really news? You guys really know how to blow your own horn (horns?).

  4. Pat Leonard says:

    Call me jaded, but I think all competent division I college coaches are scumbags to one degree or another. Like politics, it’s just about impossible to rise to that level without sacrificing some morality. And that doesn’t mean he can’t also do great things for the community like Buzz’s Bunch. Nobody is entirely good or entirely bad… they’re all just people.

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